Sunday, 7 September 2014

Symptom: Helplessness

 Depression Helplessness

Depression Helplessness

H&M St Gervais les Bains Sweater

Sweater - H&M
Skirt - H&M
Blouse - New Look
Sandals - Primark
Watch - Asos (Similar)

Following my other symptoms of depression posts (low mood, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, fatigue), I thought I'd write about helplessness. It's not a symptom that is traditionally paired with depression, but it's one that I suffer with when I'm really down. I feel like nothing will ever be okay ever again, and don't know what to do. Take yesterday, I literally sat there not being able to move and didn't know what to do with myself. It's horrible as it feels like falling down a dark hole and not being able to get out again. I then had a bit of a panic attack as I didn't know how to help myself, and I just generally felt ridiculously helpless and anxious. I also stop believing that anyone else can help me, which is irrational because my family and friends know how to cheer me up most of the time,

My sister was absolutely amazing with me yesterday - she sat with me the whole time and helped to calm me down. She listened to all of my worries, as I was going on about feeling so lonely, and told me that she'd never leave me. I'm not lonely at all most of the time, but when I'm down I feel like nobody really wants to be around me and I worry about everyone leaving me. She's an incredible person, I love her so much and don't know what I'd do without her!

Today I have just travelled back to university - we start hospital placements tomorrow which is exciting!

Hannah x

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