Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Barmouth Day 2

Ah so after yesterday's shenanigans I thought I would get back to my promised post and write about Saturday, when I was in Barmouth.

Trainers - Primark (Similar)
Socks - New Look
Necklace - Italian Market

So I have a new dress. WITH DINOSAURS ON IT. It's so cute with all of the multicoloured dinosaurs and the button-up back. Oh, I'm such a big kid!

Saturday was such a lovely day so we decided to go for a long walk on the beach with Buster in the morning. I find walking along thinking and chatting so relaxing.

In the afternoon we visited Harlech Castle, which has some beautiful views along the mid-Wales coastline. The town of Harlech is really pretty too, so we decided to stop at a cafe for some cake in the sunshine.

As it was such a beautiful day we wanted to watch the sunset from the beach and I was so glad we did. The colour change of the sky from blue to orange to pinky-purple was incredible and made me so happy just being there. It really is the little things that count.

Saturday was probably my favourite day of the whole weekend - I really wish I could replay it right now.

So today. Today I feel a lot better than yesterday but I am still so fragile, and I'm scared that any little thing is going to break me again. I really feel like a broken person right now and have been very tearful all day. However I have spoken to someone at university and they have been so good for me - sorting everything out at their end and telling me to just focus on getting myself better, and my family have been amazing. It was lovely to see my Grandparents this afternoon too. I woke up this morning with 15 texts from friends and family, and it really has made me realise how lucky I am - it's those people that I want to focus on getting better for.

I don't really know where the past 48 hours has gone - my depression really makes me lose track of time because I can sit in one position for ages and not realise how long I've been like that for. The fact that I've lost time to something so negative makes me so upset. I have been asleep a lot of the time, trying to sleep off the pain, and trying to pick up my self-esteem from the floor. It also hasn't helped today that my dog Dylan has been admitted into the vets because he can hardly walk; we're all very worried about him but are hoping that he'll be okay tomorrow.

I literally would never wish depression on anyone. It's such a horrible illness and I had actually forgotten how bad it can get; it surprises me every time. But I am hopeful for the future and that I can be happy like I was this time last week. It is just going to take a bit of time and a lot of sleep.
Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean that you aren't headed for sunshine.

PS Please donate towards my sponsored skydive for Mind here, or text MIHV99 £1 to 70070 - thank you for your support!


  1. Looks like you had a wonderful time, Hannah, and you look stunning :) Try not to worry about the past 48 hours, they are in the past and no longer exist. Focus on the future and what's to come because that's what matters xx

    Sam | Samantha Betteridge

    1. Thank you Sam! That is true. It's just so hard to not think about the past sometimes but I am trying to stay positive xx

  2. The dress is so funny with the dinosaurs. It's lovely for the summer :) I'm glad you feel better x

  3. I want that dinosaur dress. Glad to hear you feel better x

  4. That dinosaur dress is super cute.
    And I want that beach cabin sign!
    A lovely post with lovely pictures.

    1. Thank you Rosie, glad you enjoyed it! xx

  5. Glad you had such a good day - and your photographs were stunning - tomorrow is another day - and it is a NEW day with such promise. Be blessed as you sleep and when you wake up remember that it is a new and wonderful day. Maureen xx