Thursday, 18 June 2015

Things your depressed mind tells you that are complete rubbish


Depression has this weird ability to twist all of your thoughts, making them negative and irrational. And you start to lose the capacity to not believe them. You believe that you are worthless and ugly and that everyone would be better off without you here. You don't see a way out of the darkness and know there isn't a future for yourself. Well you are wrong. This is your depression talking - not you. Here are a few things your depressed mind may tell you, and why they most definitely aren't true...

"You won't get through this"
You will get through this. Depression is such an awful illness in the way that it's a huge spiral - you have negative thoughts, which lead to you feeling more depressed, leading to more negative thoughts - etc. It can therefore be so hard to see a way out and it's really easy to lose all hope. However you can get through depression and start to see the positive side of life again, especially if you believe that it can happen. It can take a lot of work but it is possible. Never lose sight of that.


"You are worthless"
One of my favourite quotes is: "Somewhere, someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer." You are not worthless, you were put on this planet for a reason - and the sad reality is that if you were taken away there would never be another individual the same as you. Even if the only thing you did today was get out of bed, that's actually a huge achievement when you are feeling depressed. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or a supermodel to be worth something; every life is precious and every person is different and contributes to society in their own special way.

"You are ugly"
I guess this is similar to the point above - someone is looking for what you have to offer. However your self-esteem should not be based on what others think of you. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and I always think that a good personality makes someone instantly more attractive. Don't base your self-worth on your looks; you have so much more to give that that. I always wonder what society would be like if everyone was blind - the 'beautiful' people would be those that were kind and respectful of others.

"It's your fault"
One of my biggest problems is that I blame myself for everything that happens, and often believe that it's my fault I suffer with depression. This leads to feelings of guilt, which then makes me feel more depressed, and hence I get even more negative thoughts. However depression is not your fault. Anyone, anywhere, in any circumstance can become depressed: it is an illness. And you shouldn't blame yourself for other negative things that happen either, as you are probably not even connected to them.

"Nobody likes you"
Of course people like you. I find when I am feeling down that I question all of my relationships with everyone and start to think that maybe they just spend time with me because they feel sorry for me. However I know that my friends and family value me. Nobody is nice enough to spend that much time with you, and to want to make you feel better, if they don't particularly like you. I find the best thing to do in this situation is to find evidence to the contrary. So if my friends have said that they enjoy spending time with me, or asked me to do something with them, this is evidence that they really do like me.

"You are selfish"
Depression doesn't make you selfish - you can't help that you suffer with it. Your illness may make you withdraw a little and maybe not be quite so mindful of others, but that definitely does not make you a selfish person. In fact I often think that ironically, those that suffer with depression are actually some of the individuals that think about others the most - I am constantly worrying about how I am affecting people and what impact my depression has on them.

"Everyone would be better off without you"
This is definitely the worst thought of all, and the most untrue. Nobody would be better off without you, and it would make them a bad person to wish that anyway. You mean so much to your friends and family, but I know that when you have a really low period it can be difficult to see that. I hate that anyone has this thought, and wish that I could make it go away. Just believe me that it does not have any truth to it at all - you deserve to be here just as much as anyone else does!
Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now.



4 comments:

  1. You wrote this post beautifully!
    I especially like your point of view about beauty. I will remember it. Luckily, I've come far about dissatisfaction with my looks.

    I'd love to read a post about medications. I'd love to know if you experience any side effects and what are your thoughts and fears, as well as possible medical opinion about them (if you ever take that course.. sorry I'm not more familiar with psychiatry studies).
    My mood has improved greatly since I've stopped using hormonal contraception. Also, longer days, which I can spend in exercising in nature, help immensely.

    You said you had a really rough patch recently, I hope you're improving again, this time for good. Love your blog!

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    1. Thank you very much :) it's great that you feel better in that way. I will definitely consider doing a post in more detail about my medication, thank you for the idea! I'm so glad you are feeling better recently :) xx

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  2. That quote really made me smile this evening, thanks for sharing it :)
    Jennifer x
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog

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