Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Don't rely on others for your happiness

It's one of those phrases that you read all over Pinterest but is hardly ever actually achieved - "don't rely on others for your happiness". I have made the mistake in the past of relying solely on one individual to make me happy: their moods would dictate mine, and if they weren't there I didn't feel like I could be truly upbeat. But then one day they were gone and I spiralled into such a depression that I ended up in hospital.

I now realise that this was such an unhealthy relationship, and a very unhealthy lifestyle, but I was young and didn't know much better (I guess that's why you learn from mistakes!). I truly believe that the key to pure happiness is to be positive about, and accept, yourself. You need to be happy in your own skin to be able to keep a positive mindset and take a step away from others so that their moods don't affect yours too much.

I'm not saying that others can't make you happy - the group of people that I have around me have helped me so much and we have some amazing times together, which are some of my favourite memories. But I try not to rely on them for my happiness - I can be just as happy when I am sat on my own reading a book, or amusing myself on the train, than when I am surrounded by loved ones. I suppose over the past few months I have learnt to like myself a little more, to accept my flaws, and in that I have found that my mood has been so much more positive - and I don't have to be distracted by others to feel happy.

When you rely on others for your happiness, a slight comment or argument can completely disarm you and make you feel down. Whereas if you are more emotionally self-reliant you can allow yourself to take a step back and look at the bigger picture - so that the situation doesn't affect your mood quite as much.

It is perhaps a very cynical view, but people will come and go, and with that your happiness, if you let it. So many people rely wholly on others - whether they are in relationships or just friends - and I guess what I'm trying to say is that the happiness gained from others can come to an end, whereas being happy with yourself will stay with you forever. Being more emotionally self-reliant will also mean you are less needy in relationships and friendships, and you won't feel like you need to have a partner to be happy.

Don't rely solely on other people for your happiness, and don't let others dictate how you feel. Love others, but not because you need them to love you back. Spend time with others, but not because you need their validation for you to be happy. Most importantly, love yourself - and open yourself up to the idea that you can make yourself happy.
Exist to be happy, not to impress.

1 comment:

    I'm fed up of knowing people who do this, don't do stuff for the better of themselves instead let somebody determine their mood and emotions. It's frustrating but I guess we all learn later rather than sooner in this situation, i'm glad you brought it up.
    Love you Hannah!

    Em | http://www.carpediememmie.co.uk/ x