Friday, 4 September 2015

25 times I was really rather British


I don't know about you, but I've been watching the recent series of Very British Problems on Channel 4, and it inspired me to write my own list of times that I was really rather British. We are a funny lot really, aren't we?!

1) The time I took the stairs instead of the lift as it would have just been too awkward to ride all the way to the top floor with only one other person.

2) Asking every single person if they want the last piece of garlic bread/biscuit/chocolate, even though you know that they will say 'no' out of politeness as you have plucked up the courage and claimed it.

3) Being really annoyed when someone else claimed the last piece of garlic bread/biscuit/chocolate, and I had to pretend I didn't want it.

4) Being on a packed train and trying as hard as possible to avoid eye contact with anyone. I'm sure I have read the safety posters about 6783 times.

5) The hundreds of times I have just laughed after not hearing something for the third time. It would be impolite to ask them what they said again.

6) Realising I'm walking in the wrong direction, stopping, getting my phone out, sighing, and promptly turning around to walk the other way. I don't want to look stupid.

7) The time my hairdresser made me look like the Grinch, but I acted really pleased with it (then cried when I got home).

8) The worry of eating crisps in a public place, in case you sound like a bulldozer.

9) Running out of ways to say 'thank you' when someone opens a succession of doors for you. Not saying it through just one of them would make you seem rude.

10) Getting irrationally annoyed when someone sits next to you when there is clearly enough space for them to have their own seat. Ditto with car parking.

11) Answering the rhetorical 'how are you?' question with 'fine, thanks' every time. Even if you're clearly out of your mind with stress and sobbing into your cup of tea.


12) Not quite catching someone's name, and having to avoid them for the rest of my life.

13) Bumping into said person and having to introduce them to a friend...

14) Ducking under the window until the window cleaner has left. But my dog would make it obvious that I was there by coming up to me - he's not the greatest at hide-and-seek.

15) The numerous times I have apologised when someone else has bumped into me.

16) Apologising when I bump into an inanimate object, like a table.

17) Opting to eat a plastic-tasting, cold bowl of pasta instead of complaining to a waiter.

18) Not wanting to sit next to someone I know on the train as I would have to make small-talk the whole way, so either waiting for the next train or getting on the furthest carriage possible.

19) Talking to every single customer about the weather, no matter whether it was rain or shine. Snow provided a particularly fun conversation.

20) I once got off one stop too early on the bus as I didn't want to explain that I had accidentally pressed the button too early.

21) Apologising for not smoking when someone asks if you have a lighter.

22) Joining a queue just because.

23) Hatefully staring at the back of a queue-jumper's head.

24) Answering every question with 'I don't mind'.

25) Feeling really awkward when someone compliments you, and immediately having to contradict them so you don't seem arrogant.
The secret of happiness is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.



2 comments:

  1. I loved this post - i laughed out loud. Such british things to be doing! Number 10 makes me so angry. If you can see there's space, DON'T SIT NEXT TO ME!

    Suitcase and Sandals Blog XX

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  2. Hiding from the window cleaner - oh yes, this happens a lot. But possibly because I used to play Just Dance or Wii Sports in the living room and got spotted a few too many times!
    Jennifer x
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog

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