Monday, 25 January 2016

Close friends and depression


You would have thought that close friends would be the best support for someone suffering with depression, right? Well, sometimes that's not always the case - and here's why...

Sometimes having best friends can make me feel worse about my depression - but definitely not due to the lack of support. No, it's due to the guilt that it can make me feel. The guilt for upsetting someone close to me; the guilt for feeling like a burden on them; the guilt for sometimes not being able to be a fun friend. Guilt for not always believing them when they compliment me or tell me I'm a good friend.


One of my biggest worries and insecurities is how people feel towards me. I sometimes doubt the fact that people want to spend time with me - and when I am severely depressed I don't believe that anyone would want to be my friend at all. This can be hard for my closest friends to see and often means that they have to reassure me when I'm down, which makes me feel like a burden - consequently making my low mood plummet even further.

My closest friends have also seen me very upset on a few occasions. I hate anyone seeing me in such a vulnerable state, but again feel like I am almost relying on them to help me feel a bit better. Which, again, makes me feel like a burden and a bad friend - you get the gist.


Luckily, my friends are absolutely amazing and never hesitate to knock my irrational thoughts right out of me (not literally, they probably wouldn't be my friends then. Probably). They are always completely honest and supportive, and know when I need a little bit of good old reassurance. I literally wouldn't change them for the world and, truly, they help me much more with my down days than they know. They're all very level-headed and know how to knock some sense into me!

Anyway, I realised over the weekend that I haven't had even one down moment in over a week. That's a huge achievement for me, as often I struggle in the mornings or find that little things instantly make me feel down, and I can't remember the last time I had such a good period. Definitely a cause for celebration - I feel amazing!!
The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.
                                - Walt Disney



2 comments:

  1. Your lucky to have such great friends. When I went in to depression and just wanted to hide away from the world, my friends tried for awhile, then gave up, so did my family.
    Now I'm trying really hard to get back on feet but it's hard with no support. Every little setback feels like a K.O and staying positive is so hard.

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  2. it looks like you have some lovely friends Hannah and it is great to see that you are doing well at the moment.Good for you girl! I still have to tell my friends,family and even my bf about my depression and am afraid and always have been to do so.Anyway i hope you continue to do well and stay positive,you seem like an amazing young lady to me xx

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