Sunday, 10 January 2016

I choose happiness

I've been a bit MIA on the blog over the weekend - I've wanted time away to think, and not worry about having to post on here for a couple of days (don't worry, this won't become a regular thing!).

And having some time to myself has really helped. This weekend has been a great mixture of highs and lows - on Friday I was so, so happy. I had a lovely day spent with my sister - we went shopping and out for a meal, and then I spent all evening out with her too. I spent some of the evening crazily dancing around my room to S Club 7 - because why not?! - and felt almost elated in mood. The real, silly Hannah came out. I wish I could bottle that feeling and drink it whenever I needed to make my mood better - I find that I appreciate the highs and happiness so much more when I have been suffering with my depression.

However the rest of the weekend was mainly spent sleeping, as I felt a little low in mood. I couldn't get that happiness back, and probably didn't really care too much about it either. And the thought of having to come back to uni really didn't help.

But then I got on the train back to Liverpool. And I decided to choose happiness.

I was sat there, thinking completely negative thoughts, when a Justin Bieber song came on on my iPod. It reminded me of dancing on Friday night, and I begun to think about how I felt that evening. And then I started to smile - I really wanted to feel that way again. So I chose to challenge my thoughts and make them positive. I thought about all of the things that I have to look forward to this year and in the future, and I began to feel happy again. I could feel my mood lifting and positivity rising within me. And actually, even if I didn't have loads to look forward to - I want to feel happy, purely because it feels incredible. So now I am actually feeling really good - it's amazing what a long journey can do :)

Don't get me wrong, with depression you can't always magically lift yourself out of it (99% of the time I can't). But sometimes there is a tiny chink of light in all of the darkness, and if you think about happier times and good times to come, that can really help.

Today I choose happiness, and I'm hoping that will stay with me for a while to come.
You will never influence the world by trying to be like it.

1 comment:

  1. I am glad you are choosing happiness

    I know its not always the easiest, and I personally think that sometimes choosing to sleep is the answer