Tuesday, 12 April 2016

Discovering the real me


Hello I'm Hannah, and I like dogs, rubbish TV and reading. I love Nutella, banana milkshakes, lasagne and pizza - not necessarily in that order. I'm caring and sensitive, and I enjoy a good spontaneous adventure. I like quirky jewellery and bright patterned clothes. I own way too many lip balms and candles. I do stupid things and laugh at myself a lot. I'm a medical student but I also love interior design and photography.

I'll stop before I start sounding like a cheesy online dating profile (too late?), but you get the gist. I saw my counsellor this afternoon and we were discussing discovering who I really am - which I really think I have been doing over the last few months, especially in terms of my personality.

Recently I have really felt like I can be myself, without the worry of being judged by others. I seem to care less about what others think of me, and only need those in my life that want to be there. I think I'm being kinder to myself, and am not quashing my personality as much as I used to. This has had a huge impact on my mood - I am feeling so much more positive about life and the future, and my self-esteem has improved massively. Because I have finally accepted myself.

I have also felt that I have value outside of medicine. A few months ago, if you would have asked me, I would have said that the only reason I was a 'worthy' person was because I am doing medicine and will be doing something that will help people. However now I realise that I have value outside of that, and if I couldn't be a doctor for some reason that wouldn't change my value or who I really am.

In other news - my counsellor signed me off today as she thinks I am recovering from my depression really well and that I don't need any more sessions for the foreseeable future! It was great to discuss how well I have been doing recently, and to consolidate my more positive feelings towards myself. I think over Christmas I just made a conscious decision to put myself out there and truly be myself around family friends, letting myself laugh and be silly, and that has definitely paid off, as I have found myself being the same around everyone.

I have actually been feeling so good recently - I've had very few down days, and I have felt 'normal' for once. Like, on a level like most people feel, rather than constantly fluctuating up and down and having to worry when my next down day will be.

I think the most important thing in life is to just be you. Find out what makes you happy and do it. Find people that make you feel good about yourself and enjoy being around the real you. Spend time getting to know yourself and who you want to be. Be an individual and never let anybody make you feel ashamed of who you are. And most importantly, let your personality shine - the right people will love you for it.
Life is about moments: don't wait for them, create them.



3 comments:

  1. Im so happy to see you doing so well! I think it is something that comes with being in the line of work, I mean even as a HCA I have sometimes thought that the fact I am helping other people is the only reason I am worthy, but were not. We are a human and deserve to be loved - especially by ourselves

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  2. This is so lovely Hannah! Even at the age of almost 31 I'm still trying to get to a point where I'm confident just being me without worrying about what other people think.

    This is such an inspiration :)

    Emma xxx

    www.thereisnowuk.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. I only just found you blog and read your 'about me' page, almost can't believe that a doctor's advise was to 'pull yourself together' but hey... Just wanted to say that I am love love loving your blog and as a fellow Liverpool student (away from home) I really appreciate your reviews so you know virtual hug :)

    xXSarahXx

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