Today has not been a great one for me. I woke up feeling a bit low, and then felt more and more down as the day progressed.
This would be okay if I was at home, as I could sleep it off. But 1) I am 11 hours ahead of the UK which makes it difficult to speak to my family; 2) I had to be in hospital this morning; and 3) I didn't want to be a burden on the girls that I am travelling with.
Depression is hard enough when you're in a familiar environment, but when you are thousands of miles away from home and staying in a strange place it can be even more difficult to have any hope of feeling better. I found myself bottling up, not wanting to make the other girls feel bad or be a spoil sport.
But by the time this evening rolled around I just couldn't hold it in any longer, and felt so much better when I did finally talk about it.
I thought I had completely recovered from my depression, but this little step back shows me that I need to take it slowly and not push myself too hard. I'm not too disappointed in myself as I understand my own body and why I'm feeling this way, and am hoping it's just a blip on my path to recovery.
I may be in a strange place, but I'm with some amazing friends and I now know that I can talk to them if I need to. I think the most important thing when you're travelling is to communicate, and not make yourself feel worse by thinking you're 'wrecking the trip' (you're not, your friends just want you to feel better).
It's okay to feel down, even if you're in a spectacular place where you think you should feel on top of the world. Depression can unfortunately hit at any time - it's just so important to ask for help if you need it.