Saturday, 17 September 2016

Sometimes I hate medicine

This is something that a medical student probably shouldn't ever say, but sometimes I hate medicine.

Sometimes it can be really disheartening and disappointing, especially if you don't particularly feel like you've achieved anything in a day or benefited a patient. Like today - I basically spent the whole day watching the doctors doing paperwork, and then when I actually tried to help a patient by taking blood from them, I ended up stabbing them twice but was not able to get any blood. I spent over 9 hours in hospital, but came away feeling like I had achieved nothing.

I guess that all jobs have downsides to them, and most people probably hate their jobs once in a while. But I really don't want to hate being a doctor at all, as I don't want that to affect how I am around patients, or how I care for people. I don't want to make mistakes. And I don't want to end up hating the job that I have dedicated 5 years of my life to because I am so passionate about it.

Sometimes I sit and wonder why I am putting myself through medical school, when I could find a perfectly good job that I wouldn't have to work so hard for. But then I remember how much I want to be a doctor, and why I applied to medicine all those years ago (way back in 2011!). I want to put my knowledge to the test and help people, and I feel so privileged that I get to work so closely with patients, and that they put their trust in me to help them.

So although some days I dislike medicine, I have many more days where I love it. Even on the days where I feel that I haven't achieved much, I am still learning. Today I learnt how to fill in paperwork, which is an important part of the job, especially when I become an F1.

Quite honestly, I now can't wait to become a doctor so that I will definitely be useful each day, and hopefully won't come away feeling disappointed in my working day. I guess just turning up to my job and being nice to people benefits people in a small way, as does giving patients a reassuring smile or being a hand to hold during a painful procedure.
Be somebody nobody thought you could be.


  1. Hang in there. It will get better. Follow your heart and it sounds like you’re doing that already. We all have bad days but it does get better.

  2. I also have days when I hate medicine! I had a day this week when I missed two cannulas, failed to get blood from another patient, couldn't make the fax work, couldn't get through to the oncology nurse about a patient and wasn't able to prescribe anything to help two patients with their symptoms because they were having procedures the next day that would complicate things. It was a miserable day and did make me question what on earth I was doing. On days like this, I just try to forget it all when I go home, do something completely unrelated and just look after myself a bit. It's nearly always better the next day and I remember why I'm putting myself through it all!
    Jennifer X
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog