Tuesday, 16 June 2015

50 ways to procrastinate

I have got procrastination down to a T. In fact I should get a medal for 'How To Waste Valuable Time That Should Be Spent Revising'. You know what, it comes to something when you've procrastinated so much that you can write a blog post on 50 ways to procrastinate. I'm sure there are many, many more, but here are my 50 best...

1) Watch an entire series on Netflix (that you may or may not have seen before... hellooo Gossip Girl).
2) Take a million selfies with one of those face distorting apps. It's amazing how much you can make yourself look like Gollum if you try.
3) Or take a million selfies with your pet/mum/car/food item. Or video your eye movements. That's always fun.
4) Eat, or plan what to eat next (this could take up hours of your time).
5) Clean. I find the best time to clean is when you're supposed to be doing something else.
6) Do your make-up beautifully, even if you're not going out anywhere. Then take it off and start all over again.
7) Write a haiku about procrastination.
8) Enter the world of Pinterest - you could be lost for days.
9) See how long you can hang your head of the edge of the bed without passing out.
10) Facebook stalk people you went to primary school with and see how many of them now have children.
11) Learn all of the lyrics to a song and perform it to your housemates.
12) Or all of the dance moves to Single Ladies. Or Thriller. They may come in handy at your next house party.

13) Go on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter. Spend ages stalking random people that you don't even know on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter. Like that random girl off Magaluf Weekender.
14) Plan your next holiday. I often spend ages researching running off to the Bahamas and living with the pigs on Pig Island.
15) Stare out the window until you see something interesting happen, like someone trip over or a romance blossoming in front of your eyes. Until someone sees you looking and it gets awkward.
16) Play hide and seek with your pet. Even if it's a guinea pig.
17) Quote all of the lines from your favourite film. Finding Nemo is my personal favourite.
18) Relive your teenage years and do MASH with loads of different scenarios.
19) Test how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth in one go.
20) Try and drink whilst you're doing a handstand.
21) Pretend that your floor is lava - now try and get to the toilet without touching it.
22) Try and send your best friend the ugliest Snapchat in the history of ugly Snapchats (just try to not send it to someone you're trying to impress. Or your boss. Actually why would you even have your boss on Snapchat?!).
23) Attempt to bake macarons. And give up after the third failed attempt.
24) Dress up as a ghost (an old sheet will do) and try and scare your housemates/family/random passers-by.
25) Build a fort out of your duvet, blankets and pillows. Take your laptop in there and spend an afternoon watching even more Netflix.
26) Write a song. Maybe about procrastination.
27) Decide you're going to get fit. Write out a comprehensive list on how you're going to get fit. Do a few sit ups and then decide it's too much work.
28) Google that weird mark/lump/itch you've had for the last week. Decide you're doomed and are going to die, so you may as well spend your last few hours procrastinating even more and enjoying yourself.

29) Watch Storage Hunters.
30) Drink lots of water so that you need to wee every 5 minutes. Spend your time on the loo reading a good book.
31) Annoy your siblings by snorting in their ear/blowing on their face every time they try to talk. This is a regular occurrence in my house.
32) Try to hypnotise your housemate (this is particularly productive if they have an annoying habit).
33) Take a nap. Try to kid yourself it will only be for half an hour, when in the back of your mind you know it will last at least 4 hours.
34) Make a smoothie with the weirdest concoction you can think of. Banana + Snickers Bar + Carrots? Hey, it might catch on.
35) Challenge your hamster to a race in your garden. Don't forget to put it in a hamster ball.
36) Learn a few words in a different language. Knowing how to say "Can I have a fish please?" in Swahili may come in handy one day.
37) Practice your best pouty face and catwalk for when you become a model. Who needs to do work when you're going to be rich and famous?
38) Stick some chop sticks in your mouth and pretend to be a walrus.
39) Grab your housemate and your duvet, and slide down the stairs on your bum together.
40) Call that person that you know you will be chatting to for hours. This may be your mum.
41) Try on every single item of clothing in your wardrobe, including those that haven't seen the light of day since 2002. This will create a floordrobe - spend another hour cleaning up said floordrobe.
42) Try and eat an apple without using your hands.
43) Master the downward dog in yoga. This will help you feel nice and relaxed so that you can be productive afterwards (or conversely make you lovely and sweaty so that you need to have a shower and do your hair and make-up and change your clothes, and whoops there's another 2 hours gone...)
44) Go for a run. Give up after 30 seconds and grab a piece of cake from the nearest cafe instead.
45) See how long you can balance a spoon on your nose for.
46) Watch funny animal videos on Youtube. Especially ones of dogs that look like they have arms and hands, or pugs in general.
47) When making your bed, crawl inside the duvet cover like a sleeping bag and pretend it's a little house. Or just hide away from the world. Whatever takes your fancy.
48) Test out the theory that you will die if you eat 7 bananas in a row (spoiler: you won't).
49) Read this list on ways to procrastinate.
50) Write your own list on ways to procrastinate.
Today is the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever be again. Cherish every moment.


  1. Haha, I haven't done many of these actually- impressive list if you have done!! I'm usually quite at making myself sit down and just do the work I need to do, but I will procrastinate with things like cleaning (because a shiny oven and straight cushions is far more satisfying than memorising every antibiotic everrrrrr). And er, Hayday on my iPad. Ridiculous guilty pleasure!
    Jennifer x
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog

    1. Haha I haven't done all of them, but have ticked quite a few off! That's really good - I'm usually quite motivated too but recently have found it so hard to keep my concentration. Oh gosh antibiotics are such a nightmare, aren't they?! xx